17 weeks old – Flashback

I wrote this a long time ago thinking that I’d have so much time to start blogging again. It’s nice to see where we were in comparison to where we are!

[Fade to Flashback]

I’m on a plane right now and am going to try to make the most of my time. It’s not very often that I get an hour or two of complete quiet. There’s no baby to answer to, no work email or calls to respond to (because I’m not paying for WiFi), no appointments to drive to, and no clothes to try to remember to throw into the dryer.

If you don’t follow me on Instagram then you probably don’t know that I had a baby 17 weeks ago. That’s a little over four months for you people that don’t already have children or don’t do math. Seventeen weeks ago my whole world changed. Everyone always said that you don’t completely understand what love is until you have a baby. Truth is, I always understood it, I just wasn’t ready for it. I still don’t know if I’m ready for it. I look at my baby girl and wonder how in the world I am lucky enough to be her mother for the rest of…forever. Some people say that the love you have for your child is greater than any other kind of love. I disagree, it’s just a different kind of love which I’ve wanted to experience since I was a little girl. Having a baby gives you a little glimpse into the way that God feels about each and every one of us.

It’s a love I know I’m ready for because it’s a love that’s changed me for good. I never knew how strong I was until I had a baby. I have a whole new respect for motherhood and my own mother.

And yes, sometimes I don’t know if I’m ready it. I never knew how weak I was until I had a baby. Hearing her cry makes me cry. When she hurts, I hurt. However even through that weakness there is strength because I have to be strong for her.

Four months in and I’ve learned that:

◦ Sleep is a necessity, but only in 10-60 minute increments.

◦ Giving birth is exactly like it is in the movies, but with more tears, convulsing, and shaking.

◦ I will always need my mother.

◦ My husband has seen me at my worst and still adores me. 👏👏👏😍

◦ Part of me is living outside of me. She is an extension of me that I need to nourish just like I nourish my own body and self.

◦ The laundry will never be done and the house will never be clean.

◦ I have the best family and in-laws EVER.

◦ No diaper is too scary.

◦ Breast milk is a precious thing (I learned this the very first time I spilled it after pumping).

◦ No noise is too small to wake me when I’m finally asleep.

◦ I am needed and loved and have a purpose.

This journey has already been wonderful and as they say, the moments go by so fast. I am enjoying every one of them. This past week my daughter has been up at all hours, and every time I pick her up to console her I truly thank God that she is breathing and that I am here for her no matter how tired I am. Some babies aren’t as lucky which is hard for me to even grasp. I’ve never been so grateful.

Cosette Isabela Maszy was born on June 8th of 2018. She weighed in at 4 pounds, 14 ounces! She was two weeks early (full term) but just on the tiny side. She has since tripled her weight and is thriving and beautiful.

As you can probably already tell, FitFabDelish will have a new category because my world now revolves around it. More to come in MomSoHard- reviews, things I’m learning along the way, and maybe some love notes that she can look back on. Haha, we’ll see where it takes me!

You can follow Cosette (or Coco as we like to call her) on Instagram @cosetteisabela .

She’s already a bit of an influencer!

Stay tuned as I definitely always have material now!

Xo FitFabDelish

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